Exploring Your Values
Image description: Central words say “exploring your values”, there are four green bubbles around the centre that say: What makes you feel proud? What do you feel strongly about? What kind of person do you want to be? What’s important to you. Four cartoons are around the edge depict a hot air balloon, a series of ladders, a person sitting with 2 other people and a person reading a book.
I’ve been doing a deep dive into values recently as I prepare materials for an upcoming workshop. My understanding of values has been evolving over the past couple of years as I look at different ways of understanding myself and what makes me tick. I’ve found it helpful to know what my values are in order to get closer to living the life that I want (in ways that are possible with physical and mental health limitations) and prioritising where I spend my time and energy.
So what are values?
Values are about how you want to behave or act, and how you want to treat yourself, others and the world around you. They are not about what you want to get or achieve and they are not goals. They can be like a roadmap, give our lives meaning, and give us something to move towards.
Values feel like a natural fit within occupational therapy as they are all about meaning and purpose, what is important to you and how you want to live your life, which are all areas I like to focus on in my work.
Image description: a quote from Thomas Merton: “If you want to identify me, ask me not where I live, or what I like to eat, or how I comb my hair, but ask me what I am living for, in detail, and ask me what I think is keeping me from living fully for the things I want to live for.”
There is no such thing as a ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ value and each person’s values will be different. Also, as you move through life, your values may change as different things become more important to you. When the things we do and way we behave match our values we might feel more content. Having a misalignment between values and actions can create discontent. Exploring our values can be a good way to check in with ourselves and the path we are on.
Values are defined by actions not feelings. We can take actions in line with our values even when we might not feel like doing something, e.g. we might not want to go to the dentist but value our health, so we make the appointment and go.
Image description: a table with the heading ‘what are the differences between goals and values?’ Goals: outcome, future focused (e.g. finish a degree, get a job), can be achieved, destination, what we do. Values: a process, the glue between goals (e.g. learning, contributing), guide us after achieving goals, directions, who we are.
There are many different exercises you can use to explore your values. Russ Harris has heaps of free resources on his website, Brene Brown also has a great resource. I just finished the book ‘Unmasking Autism’ by Dr Devon Price and there was a really interesting exercise in there too based on the values-based integration process by Heather R Morgan.
I like doing a values word sort and have used this to create a values pyramid with my top 10 and then pick a few words to focus on for the year. This year the words were truth and joy, the year before they were: capable, connected and nourished. Both had linked vision boards (see image below for 2022’s vision board) and a project based on Rick Hanson’s HEAL process for savouring pleasant experiences and taking in the good to challenge the negativity bias in the brain.
[Please note I’m not paid for including any of these links, I just like to share useful resources!]
It’s time to be thinking about a focus for 2023 and I’m toying with a few words, possibly ‘spark’, ‘authenticity’ or ‘unmasking’. But I will give myself some space and continue to ponder this to settle on what feels right.
Image description: A vision board on a yellow background with many pictures and words cut out from magazines. Images include: nature, water, meditation, and in the centre two fire dragons form a circle with the words ‘finding my joy’ and ‘speaking my truth’ in the centre. Words include: ‘great things’, ‘following the dream’, what matters to me’, ‘less is more’, ‘a life well lived’.
Exploring your values and knowing what they are is one step but then what?
The next step is to take action. What is one small action you could make to live more in line with your values and move in a value driven direction? What might get in the way? What things will support you? Make it a small, achievable step. For example, one of my values is connection so an action step would be to visit a friend or organise a games night. Does the step feel doable? If not, make it smaller. Once you’ve taken some action steps to live more in line with a value (or a couple of values) - check in with yourself and notice how that feels. Reflect and continue to set doable action steps and you are on your way to a more value-driven life. Remember, this isn’t always easy and sometimes we might have competing values and life demands vying for our attention, just do what you can with the resources you have and have compassion for yourself in the tougher times.
[Note: nothing in this blog is intended to be therapy advice. Values work can be challenging and you may find you need some support to work through it, if so please reach out to a health professional.]
